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 Bif: Hey there, Sports Fans, I'm sitting with one of the coolest- Luke: Dude! C'mon! Bif: Hey, I had to say it, Luke. So you're team captain for the Extreme Snowmen. Now there's a rumor going around that you're all just men in snowman suits. Luke: No f***in' way, man! I'm all snow. We are snowmen, and WE ARE EXTREME! Yeah! Bif: For those in the home viewing audience not in the know, could you tell us a little bit about the concept of "Being Extreme." Luke: Bif, it's not just about Being Extreme. It's about Feeling Extreme, Acting Extreme, and Living Extreme. It's about finding your inner snowball, and going with it. It's also about kickin' some serious ass! By the way, Bif it's pronounced X-Treme, emphasis on the X, showing that we are the only true X-Ball team. Yeah! Bif: Extreme. Got it. Luke: No, X-treme. X. Bif: Ex. Luke: X. Bif: Well, okay, we'll get it right in the transcript anyway. Back to you, Tad. Excerpted from "Bif Larkin: The X-Ball Interviews 2000" |  08.30.01 - The X-Ball Finals are about to begin in the first week of September, and with them comes a sense of intense anticipation and intenser confusion. Read the Whole Story ->>
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Coolboard Luke, team captain for the Extreme Snowmen, has led the team for the past three years. Although the Snowmen have been shut out at the X-Ball Tournament of Champions for the past few years, Luke promises they are going to pull out all the stops this year. "The training's been, like, totally intense," says Luke. "We've been drinking nothing but electrolytic fluids and eating Power Bars all summer. We're ready to Rock the Arena."
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Azz Eater is Cool Board Luke's right hand Snowman. The main Offensive Forward for the past three seasons, Azz Eater is known for his prowess in tough situations, including frequent trips through the Danger Zone! Last season, Azz Eater was known for confronting fans outside the Arena, and, in his own words, "getting in their face." Save that for the stadium, Azz!
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 Read Pipsqueak's Spotlight!
Pipsqueak has overcome many obstacles to be where he is today. Left lying on the ground, an unfinished head of a snowman, he managed to roll around, gathering twigs wherever he went. Finally two twigs lodged themselves in his ears, giving him the hands he needed to function- but permanently damaging his hearing. But what Pipsqueak lacks in not having two thirds of his body, most of his hearing, and self-esteem, he more than makes up in speed! Go, Pipsqueak, go!
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Redd is the most radical member of the Extreme Snowmen - both on and off the field! He's been sporting his Cherrylicious Red Sno-Cone dye job ever since the 1997 Nakamaji Classic X-Ball Slam-Off! Redd says that his Cherry Flavoring symbolizes the pain the Extreme Snowmen will rain down upon their enemies. Scandal broke last year when pictures surfaced of Redd sucking on his own delicious juices, but this has only furthered his dangerous, take-no-prisoners, kick-your-ass-from-here-to-Timbuktu reputation!
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D.O.T.C.O.M.M. is rich. New New Economy rich. So rich, in fact, that he bought himself a place on the Extreme Snowmen team! And it's a good thing he did, since he's the most radical venture capitalist ever to hit the X-Ball Field! Whether he's doing his trademark Stockmarket Dive or Blistering Burnrate Bumrush, he's making everybody say IPOuch!
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