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Vengeance Calls for Peaceful Protests

"Shut up," say Rioters


MONSTER ISLAND, Dec. 9 - The area around the X-Ball Arena erupted into riots today, when protesters in favor of freeing Reptiles 2 Da Maxx from their imprisonment by the Nakamaji Corp. were told to "leave."

Although a concentrated effort has been made on behalf of the Reptiles 2 Da Maxx, with weeks of protest stretching into the cold winter months, tensions ran high. The arrival of the militant Reptile activist, Reptile X, further inflamed tensions, causing a fracas to break out between protesters and Nakamaji Corp.'s Elite Guard. The conflict widened, until the whole parking lot was a mass of burning tires and naked children screaming pitifully for their mommies.

As protests spilled into the outlying towns and panic struck the streets for the second time in two weeks, Vengeance, the leader of the Reptiles 2 Da Maxx, made a live television announcement:

"Ladies and gentlemen. First off, I would like to say that I appreciate the passion for which you support our cause. But I cannot support the methods with which you are trying to push our cause forward. We are peaceful reptiles, despite the violent sport we play, and-ow! Hey, quit shocking me with that electric cattle prod, I'm trying to talk here. Ow. Ow. Okay, I- Ow."

Vengeance's address did nothing to stop the riots and it wasn't until someone realized it was almost dinnertime and that a day of rioting can make one awfully hungry that the crowds dispersed.

Vengeance had this to say: "The riots may be over, but the storm is still - Ow!"



What do the X-Ball Team Captains think about Freeing the Reptiles?:



"Let me quote George Michael" says Coolboard Luke:

"I think that Mr. George Michael, formerly of Wham! Said it best: 'Freedom. I won't let you down. I won't give you up. I won't something, something Oh, yeah, I think there's something you should know, I think it's time we start the show. I think it's time you understand, sometime the clothes do not make the man.' Freakin' brilliant, man. Seriously. Plus, wasn't that the video with all the hot supermodels? I bet George Michael gets more women than he knows what to do with. That dude definitely gets his swerve on, if you know what I mean."

"Is this a trick question?" asks Vengeance:

"Umm you're kidding, right? Are you seriously asking me what I think about the Reptiles's bid for freedom? Who me? Oh, I think it’s a terrible idea. Lock up the Reptiles forever. Yeah, they deserve to live in rotten, stinking pits for no particular reason and live off the flesh of rejected clone carcasses in a cannibalistic cry for help. No, I'm not serious, of course we want our freedom. What do I talk about all the time? Honestly, you people"

Gridiron still doesn't condone violence:

"Look, I've said it once, and I'll say it several more times. I don't condone violence. When we go on the X-Ball field, we know that we might get hurt, as do the other players. It's almost a silent agreement, in a way. But when you commit violence without the other person, or persons without their permission, you are committing a crime. A crime against someone very close to you. Yourself. Please, if you're going to engage in violence, only do it if it's not going to hurt anyone. Thank you."

"A laugh riot," says Amanda:

"I very much enjoyed the riots. I was sitting in my apartment thinking of ways of cooking bunnies, when the most delightful noise rose to my petals: the sounds of screaming. Wonderful screams of despair and pain. So I ran out the door, and found the humans fighting and burning their own structures. I called the other Flowers over to my house, and we had quite a nice time, roasting humans and rabbits over a toasty bonfire."