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Nakamaji Unveils Highly Anticipated Marketing Budget"Ohh, Ahh," says Crowd. | |
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| Monster Island, 01.09.01 - In front of a crowd of ecstatic onlookers, Nakamaji Corp. President and CEO, Hiro Nakamaji revealed that the marketing budget for the upcoming season of X-Ball would be the biggest ever..
The ceremony, an annual event eagerly awaited by X-Ball fans around the world, heralds the official opening of the X-Ball Marketing Season, followed in just three short weeks by the opening of the X-Ball 2001 Season itself. Held outside the X-Ball Arena, a group of horsemen draped in armor signaled the arrival of the budget with trumpets, drums, and smoke signals. Nakamaji riled up the eager crowd by the showing them the sealed Box of Marketing. "We know what the all important 18-24 demographic wants," he said before the effervescent masses. "They want a huge amounts of money spent on marketing! I know the fans. I've lived among their kind, talked to some of them on occasion. Do they want some pansy $50 million spent on gaining their favor? No! This year, Nakamaji Corp. is spending over $12 trillion dollars on creating artificial demand for our already media saturated product!" "I'm really excited about this," said Billy Xballfan, the hip skateboarding goateed cartoon character who pitches some of the X-Ball line of products. "This means that the Bill-man will have some moolah to spend on his Bling-Bling. Phatty phat, yo." Nakamaji execs were similarly excited about the possibilities of the cool, youthful Billy Xballfan, who they are sure can connect to young fans with his distinct brand of pizazz and killer good looks. After the unveiling of the marketing budget, excited fans scrambled over to the Focus Group Fair, where the new X-Ball advertisements were tested on the eager subjects in the guise of "an exciting way to make your voice heard." |
Reaction from the Team Captains:"I don't like that Billy Xballfan," says Coolboard Luke:"I don't like that guy. First of all, he's all, like, hip just because he skateboards and talks in slang. I'm sorry, but 'Phatty phat, yo?' That's not even hip. I give him props for the use of the words bling bling, but what, he's cool just because he wears sunglasses? That is so totally not def, I can't even believe it. It's Jack La-Lame, more like it. Snoochie-Boochies, I am outta heeeeee."
| Vengeance's Back Hurts:"Yeah, so I've got this terrible pain in my back from carrying the Box of Marketing all day. I mean, I understand the important symbolism of it, that you can have the marketing, but it's truly the players that carry the game, but honestly, does all $12 trillion dollars have to be made out of Pirate Gold? That stuff is heavy, and I have a sensitive spine."
| "Hopefully, some of that will be spent on PSAs," says Gridiron:"I certainly support promoting us, I mean, why shouldn't I, you know? But some of that money could go towards our very important, 'You Should Know More,' campaign. You know, those ads that deal with issues that we run during games, in a poignant yet witty way? We should do more of them. I actually had a great idea for one about glucose intolerance."
| Amanda Enjoys Focus Groups:"I certainly enjoyed the Focus Group Fairs, it was quite the interesting time. I likes sitting down the young ones, and slowly probing their heads, feeling inside, and then letting them spurt out whatever was inside. Then, you can drink up the marvelous things that come out like sweet honey nectar, growing in power as they become vacant, glazed shells of themselves." | ||||||||