Displaced from their warm, sunny home in Hell, billions of Demons populated the surface of Planet Earth Wednesday night.

Escaping through the gigantic hole blown in the Earth's crust by a nuclear warhead, billions of demons proceeded to wreak havoc on the entire world, changing it to their twisted images.

By early Thursday, a small group of rebels had gathered at an Air Force base in New Mexico, planning a desperate strike at the center of the Demon Stronghold in New Jersey.

A ragtag group of soldiers, including a geeky yet sexy scientist, a sassy black man, a young maverick, and a love interest stormed into demon territory. With a unique mixture of pluck and moxie, as well as a last minute save by the scientist who managed to overcome his intense fear of spiders, they all managed to die horribly.

With humanity's last chance for survival digesting in the stomach of a mutated, lumbering Hell Beast, the united governments of Earth quickly fell to the Demon menace. In under two hours, the Spawn of Satan had enslaved every human being on earth and forced them to begin work on the Planetary Bridge Project.

By next week, the Demons hope to build a gigantic bridge from the Earth to the Moon, then from the Moon to the other planets in the solar system. If their timetable holds, the entire Milky Way Galaxy should fall to the Demon Menace by late March.

In other news, reports of the Demons creation of a new Hell on Earth have been pouring in from all over the globe:

• The Great Wall of China has been ripped from its roots, and placed in the middle of Berlin.
  
  
• Residents of Spain are no longer able to tell the difference between the words "topless" and "tapas."
  
  
• The Middle East appears to have become a landscape torn apart by war and prejudice.
  
  
• New York City subways are running on schedule, leaving residents nothing to complain about.
  
  
• Monster Island seems to be exactly the same.
  
  

More on this breaking story as it develops.