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I was a turtle for three days!
But I’m not going to talk about that. Ya see, I was kind of hoping that nothing would happen over the course of the next two weeks, so that I could reminisce about my admissions process. Boy was that not the case! Not counting the turtle thing, no less than 32 major events occurred! But at the end of my last entry I promised I’d talk about admissions, and by gosh, Sparky Helmersparkz sticks to his promises! That and I can’t remember any of the 32 major events because my short-term memory is temporarily impaired as a result of the sixteenth major event, so my nurse tells me.
Read More ->>GO CHECK OUT THE NEWS ARCHIVES ->> |
Flowers Discover Pentagram Shocker Sketchiness of evidence ignored | |
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| Monster Island, 02.21.02 - After being stymied by weeks of fruitless investigation into the disappearance of fellow Bunny Pickin' Flowers teammate Kimberly, the Flowers appeared ready to throw in the towel, return to their homes and do a whole lot of comfort eating. But on Tuesday, Irma made a surprising discovery.
Idly connecting the dots betweeen the five locations the Flowers had visited over the past five weeks (Paris, Moscow, Hong Kong, New York City, and Alaska), she noticed a curious thing: if one were to shift key portions of map around arbitrarily and move Alaska to the other side of the world then one would almost be able to imagine that the lines would form some semblance of a star. And if one were then to flip the map upside down and, for some godforsaken reason, draw a circle around the entire thing it would look JUST LIKE A PENTAGRAM, THE SYMBOL OF HIS EVIL MAJESTY, SATAN! Quickly using her handy Nakamaji cellphone, Irma called the rest of her teammates and organized an emergency meeting at her place. The Flowers spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying the delicious rabbit canapes Irma had "whipped up" and discussing their plans to rescue Kimberly from the clutches of His Evil Lordship, Beelzebub. By six o'clock, they had a plan -- taking advantage of the confusion created by the Reptiles at Nakamaji headquarters, they would steal a Nakamaji Nuclear Warhead Blastomatic and use it to blow a hole in the earth, creating an entrance to Hell. Then they would enter the bowels of the underworld, locate Kimberly, toss a smoke grenade into Hell to confuse all the demonic minions, and make a quick exit. Then, using a giant electromagnet, they would attract a nearby asteroid and use the resulting collision to plug up the hole in the Earth leading to Hell, sealing it forever and rescuing Kimberly. The rest of the week for the Flowers is being spent eating a diet rich in protein to "bulk up." The invasion is planned for Tuesday of next week. The Flowers are currently ignoring any allegations of shoddy research or jumping to conclusions.
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