Valentine's Day!

"We knew this was a strong application when we released it," said L. Brainius, President of XBU. "But this exceeded our expectations. It just shows you there still is a market for University applications."

After the boom in college applications in the late nineties, education has recently turned its focus to technical schools and fashion institutes. "Are colleges dead?" asked a recent Education Weekly headline. The answer, it would seem, is no.

Although X-Ball University officials are quick to credit the "tight" essay questions, and "revolutionary" mixing of the college application with the style of a fan-club questionnaire, critics say otherwise.

A review in the recent Rolling Admission Stone magazine stated that, "It's the same old application wrapped up in a some fancy packaging and a hyped up marketing campaign. Sure, teenagers all over are going to want an X-Ball University education, but kids are fickle. Give them four years, and they've moved on to something else."

That remains to be seen, but for now, L. Brainius and company are sitting pretty, both figuratively and literally, on a large stack of over three hundred and forty eight million applications. Also, they're wearing cute little tutus. Which is another reason they are sitting pretty.

When asked about a follow up, L. Brainius stated, "I don't know. We're going to take a little time off, probably look through these applications. Tour around, do a little recruiting. We probably won't be ready to release a new application until next year. But I tell you this. It's gonna rock!"

Brainius also mentioned that given the number of applications, and the size of the University, the acceptance rate this year would be less than 0.000001%.