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I still can’t find the piggy!
I’ve been looking for weeks now! I’ve scoured Monster Island top to bottom, East Monster Island to West Monster Island, North Monster Island to Sveltenvris (that’s Monster Island-ese for South Monster Island). It’s so frustrating, I haven’t found so much as a hoofnail clipping! I guess I should explain.
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Ernie Villa Dies Nobody Cares | |
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| Monster Island, 01.24.02 - Ernie Villa, X-Ball Training Supervisor, died the other day and nobody really cared or noticed.
Hired to put the danger back in X-Ball last season, he never quite fulfilled his function. "Look, nobody really liked him," said X-Ball announcer Bif Larkin at his funeral. "I mean, it was always unclear what he was doing here. I think it was pretty clear he was supposed to be evil, what with his name being Ernie Villa and all. But what did he do that was so evil? Throw sharks at people?" He was found at his home late Friday night, having peacefully died in his chair in front of the television of gunshot wounds. Hiro Nakamaji, his employer, released a statement to the press thirty minutes before Villa was discovered, declaring that, "Villa never really worked out. It's sad about his death, but I think we can all move on from here. I mean, I died last week, and we all moved on." Continuing, Nakamaji stated, "Ernie was a weird guy who never fit into this plotline we call life. I'm sure there was some sort of plan for him, in the scheme of things, but it's just... well, I was never able to get a handle on his character. Things will be simpler and more direct now that he's gone." Ernie's body, as well as any evidence pertaining to his non-mysterious death, were accidentally and ironically dropped into a shark tank at the Monster Island zoo, where Ernie's body was ripped to shreds, never to be seen again. You can be sure that X-Ball Online, for one, will never mention Ernie Villa again. Ever.
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