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Front of the Class
I’m stupid and worthless and nobody is more stupid than me.
I’m behind in every single one of my classes. I don’t understand! I’ve studied so hard! Nose to the grindstone, elbow to the grease-stone. I even studied for You Don’t Have To Study For This Class 105: Introduction To Not Having To Study For This Class. That’s what I call commitment! OK, I’ll stop. I’m getting all complainy! I’ve got to say, it was weird finally getting to attend my first class (the apple incident, you know). I was excited like it was the first day, but since it wasn’t the first day I wasn’t as excited as I would have been if it were the first day. Of course! In any event, I stepped into that first class, Science 101, thinking I was all ready. I picked a seat right up front (Duh!), cracked open a brand new marble notebook, de-capped a pen and sat back to wait for the oncoming knowledge to enlighten and empower me!
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Reptiles Now Officially Cute as Buttons New Look Unveiled at Toy Fair | |
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| Monster Island, 11.14.01 - The newly cutified Reptiles 2 Da Maxx were introduced to horrified audiences at the 15th Annual Pre-Holiday Toy Fair.
The Toy Fair, which presents the season's hottest toys to the public, announced on Monday that a new line of Reptiles 2 Maxx stuffed plushies would be revealed to the world by none other than the Reptiles 2 Da Maxx themselves. Giddy with excitement, crowds gathered for the special live appearance of their favorite X-Ball team. Young children, eyes wide with anticipation, watched as Hiro Nakamaji activated a giant lever and pulley system which lowered the Reptiles' cage onto the main stage of the convention, accompanied by the sounds of Pink's blazin' new joint, "Get This Party Started," and a mind-blowing laser light show. "As you can see, the Reptiles are back," said Nakamaji. "And now they're hairy! Hairy in the cutest way possible!" Once the mix of horrified vomiting and riotous cheering had died down, Nakamaji loosened the Reptiles' smile shackles and had each introduce their new, adorable plush doll of fun. The highlights of the new line:
The Reptiles then promptly left the Toy Fair via catapult, disappointing the excited throngs of autograph hounds. Nakamaji concluded by announcing that the Reptile toys would be on sale this Deathmas at stores everywhere. Well, not everywhere. There aren't actually stores everywhere. Luckily, the Reptiles landed in a truck full of hay and pillows... and knives! Well, butter knives.
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