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GO CHECK OUT THE NEWS ARCHIVES ->>

X-Ball Undergoes Major Retooling
X-Ball Major League Teams become Ex-teams


Monster Island, 11.07.01 - Following the announcement that X-Ball would be re-tooled in the wake of current world events, Nakamaji introduced a newer, cuddlier X-Ball to the public.

"From now on," said Hiro Nakamaji in a press conference Monday night, "X-Ball will no longer be the most violent sport in the world. It will be the most smooshy-wooshiest sport that you just want to hold against your chest while you fall asleep at night."

Changes to the game include:

  • Replacement of the X-Ball with Cuddles, the X-Bear.

  • Five teams will no longer compete, but unite towards a common "surprise" goal each game (i.e., housing for the homeless, helping out with school play).

  • X-Ball Arena renamed X-Ball Forum for Discussion and Tolerance.

  • Minor League Team brought welcomed back each game, "as long as they have the time."

  • Hot dogs no longer served at concession stands.

The biggest announcement, however, was that two of the Major League teams will be fired and replaced by cuter, more friendly teams. The Extreme Snowmen will be replaced by the Marshmallow Strike Force; and the Bunny Pickin' Flowers will be replaced by the Flower Pickin' Bunnies (cute wittle bunnies who play in fields of flowers all day long).

The Reptiles 2 Da Maxx are currently undergoing hair inducement surgery so that they'll become softer and plusher. The Monkeys Who Play Sports will continue to play, because gosh darnit, they were cute and cuddly to start with.

Reaction from the public is mixed at the moment, but X-Ball Online will continue to monitor the developing situation.