Spotlight Special!




Like an unstoppable force of nature, Irma, the brutal, brooding brain behind the Bunny Pickin' Flowers, steps onto the X-Ball playing field. The roar of the crowd is intense - they know that her very presence guarantees a game of precision, intelligence, and horrible, horrible bloodshed. Rumors surround her - that she was raised by radioactive dinosaurs, that she once wore an entire sundress made out of kittens, that she left a husband and three children to play X-Ball. Does anybody know the real Irma? No. But here's what we do know.

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X-Ball Finals to Begin Very Soon
Excitement/Confusion Reigns Supreme


Monster Island, 08.30.01 - The X-Ball Finals are about to begin in the first week of September, and with them comes a sense of intense anticipation and intenser confusion.

The Finals, which will determine who is the greatest X-Ball team of ALL TIME this year, will be played over four weeks. Each X-Ball team (Monkeys Who Play Sports, Reptiles 2 Da Maxx, Extreme Snowmen, Bunny Pickin' Flowers), will face off against each other as well as special celebrity Minor League Teams in a battle to the finish.

"Now the interesting thing about the X-Ball Finals," says Bif Larkin in his book How X-Ball Works, "is that every team plays. As opposed to other sports, no team is eliminated, unless they die. So basically, its just like a regular season, except the games are played a lot closer to each other. Plus, there's special celebrity guests."

Nakamaji scientists have been monitoring the excitement levels surrounding the X-Ball Finals by measuring the level of Excitrons in the air. Hiro Nakamaji, CEO of Nakamji Corp. demonstrated: "If you look at this graph, we have three columns. The first shows the Excitron level when making toast, which is very low. The second column is the normal level of Excitrons present during an X-Ball game, which I'll just mention is three billion times greater than at any regular sports game. The third column represents the week leading up to the X-Ball Finals. It's twice as big."

Nakamaji went on to demonstrate that the addition of celebrities significantly increases Excitron levels.

Fans, however, are mildly confused. Information on the official X-Ball website clearly states that games occur once a week, but X-Ball Online is only able to post once a month for legal reasons. So therefore, the X-Ball Finals should be no different than a regular schedule.

In response, Nakamaji giggled nervously and jet-packed out of the press room. The X-Ball Finals, or whatever the heck they are, will begin the first week in September.