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Bunny Pickin' Flower Declared Missing
Kimberly Kimberlidnapped?


Monster Island, 07.25.01 - Monster Island Police officially declared Kimberly missing at a press conference Friday morning, although many fear she may have been kidnapped.

"There's no proof that Kimberly has been kidnapped," said Hiro Nakamaji in a taped statement to the press. "I know she has been missing for days, but we haven't gotten any sort of a ransom note. Plus, I really don't think anybody could subdue one of the Bunny Pickin' Flowers. I mean, c'mon, they're freaky strong."

Kimberly was last seen with her teammates visiting the Giant Rabbit Man Massage Parlor. Sometime between the beginning of the massage and the slaughtering of the Giant Rabbit Men, her teammates lost track of her.

"We assumed she had justs went home," said Amanda, team captain of the Bunny Pickin' Flowers. "And you know what happens whens you assume. We start killing people."

Although nobody has been killed yet, the evidence suggests that something tragic has happened: Kimberly entered the Massage Parlor; she didn't leave; and then the whole shop mysteriously burned down.

Nakamaji prepared another statement on the subject: "We don't really know what happened with that mysterious fire, and there are no traces of Giant Flower residue in the wreckage. However, there is a trap door that was revealed under the soot that had a sign reading 'Secret Exit, Do not enter,' which we think is in some sort of code. We have our linguists working double-time on that one."

Rage, Kimberly's fiancé is prepared to offer a reward to anyone who brings information on Kimberly's disappearance to his attention. The lucky information holders can look forward to not being dismembered at any point soon, or having their face stuffed full of razor blades.