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Related StoriesAs early as yesterday morning, reports began to surface that Gridiron, the team captain of the Monkeys Who Play Sports and valedictorian-to-be of XBU Class of Summer 2001, would have to pull an all-nighter to finish his ambitious thesis, a paper detailing the socio-political climate of violence in X-Ball and its effects upon the young minds it so depends on for an audience. Read More ->>Following her wildly successful dorm party on Wednesday, Irma, one of the Bunny Pickin' Flowers, was looking forward to a relaxing night of rest in her bed. Instead, she was unceremoniously kicked out by her roommate Amanda who wanted to get a little bit busy with her fiance, Rage of the Reptiles 2 Da Maxx. Read More ->>X-Ball History, Part X: The Great Fish Read More ->>Taking a break from their mandatory studies at X-Ball University, the Reptiles 2 Da Maxx went to get a Giant Rabbit Man Massage, which we're telling you about for some reason. Read More ->>GO CHECK OUT THE NEWS ARCHIVES ->> |
Major Leagues Go Back to School "Rotsies suck," say players | |
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| Monster Island, 06.20.01 - The Major League teams have all been sentenced to Academic Probation, and headed back to school with hilarious results.
"It's a time tested formula," said L. Brainius, Commissioner of X-Ball. "Send a bunch of older, rowdy sports players back to college, and watch the sparks fly. The comedy sparks, that is!" In order to capture all the hysterical, sassy action, cameras have been set up all over the X-Ball University campus, the footage of which will be released later in the summer as a major motion picture entitled, "Whats Your Major?." Additionally, the entire student population has been required to return to school on pain of death. "This is ridiculous," said third year student Ernie Villa. "I was in the middle of an important archeological expedition in Japan to find out the roots of X-Ball. I can't afford to come back to school just for the sake of comedy." After a thirty minute closed door re-education session for all returning students, Mr. Villa seemed to change his mind. "Oh god. That's a great idea. Oh god, oh god. I can't wait for the hijinks to begin." He then burst into tears and ran to his dorm room. And the hijinks have begun already. Within minutes of getting off the bus to XBU, the misfit X-Ball players were harassed by a burly, rich group of R.O.T.C. recruits. They were called "Major League Dorks," laughed at, and one beefy blonde recruit stepped on Rage. Later that day, Rage, Pain, Irma, and Kimberly snuck back to the Rotsies frat house and filled it with poison. As of press time, it is unclear whether the Rotsies have survived. But the fun sure will!
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