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Giant Rabbit Man Massage Parlor Opens Local residents "way too excited" | |
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| Monster Island, 05.30.01 - Monster Island was graced with the opening of a brand new massage parlor this week, leading to way too much excitement on the part of locals.
The Giant Rabbit Man Massage Parlor, a new shop on The Promenade, Monster Island's main shopping district, provides the finest massages available, given by giant, mutated half man/half rabbit creatures. The opening day festivities were attended by every resident of Monster Island. In addition, Hiro Nakamaji declared the day, "Giant Rabbit Man Massage Parlor Day, a yearly holiday in which every man, woman, child, and man-rabbit will be given a massage, free of charge!" This was followed by a performance of "C'mon Ride the Train" by Quad City DJs, who really had nothing better to do. The event was not without it's detractors, however. "There are many important events happening in the world today," said Reptiles 2 Da Maxx team captain Vengeance. "For example, Monster Island being admitted to the United Nations. But certain media outlets choose to pick a massage parlor opening as their top story, while using that as a sideline. It's despicable." Outsiders were equally confused by the attention, given that there are already fifteen massage parlors on the Promenade alone. Coolboard Luke, team captain of Extreme Snowmen, was not as confused. "Those Giant Rabbit-Men gave me the best massage ever. Their soft rabbit hand-paws carressed my snow until I was all, like, relaxed and stuff. Totally awesome." Coolboard Luke seems to be in the majority on this issue, as the Giant Rabbit Man Massage Parlor is booked up with appointments until next January.
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