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Related StoriesX-Ball Online has found out that Reptiles 2 Da Maxx player Instinct is having an intimate party at his house this Saturday night with fellow teammates and other X-Ball luminaries! Read More ->>Read Coolboard Luke's exciting tale of terror! Read More ->>X-Ball History, Part V: From Zero to Hiro Read More ->>The Vampire Hemophiliacs were found dead again early Monday morning, victims of a vicious staking. Read More ->>GO CHECK OUT THE NEWS ARCHIVES ->> |
Snowmen Found Wandering in Woods Woods Burned to Ground | |
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| Monster Island, 04.26.01 - The Extreme Snowmen, feared missing since two of their members went fly fishing two weeks ago, emerged from Monster Island Woodland Preserve early Tuesday morning shaken, but mostly unharmed.
The Snowmen were quickly flown to Monster Island Medical Center for a full examination, where it was determined that only Azz Eater had sustained any damage. The freon addicted Snowman was treated for broken off limbs and several contusions. Soon after, a clearly shaken Coolboard Luke spoke to the assembled members of the press to relate his ghoulish tale of gothic horror, which will be published by Nakamaji Publishers in Trade Paperback and Audio Book form later this month. You can read an excerpt from the book here. Hiro Nakamaji has vowed vengeance against those who harmed the Extreme Snowmen. "You listen to my lips, people," said Nakamaji in a taped press conference from Azz Eater's hospital room. "I will not tolerate attacks on X-Ball players. Not in the Arena. Not outside the Arena. And nowhere else. Look at poor Azz Eater here. He just wanted to have some fun in the woods. Well, if the woods won't let him have fun, the woods won't have any fun, either!" Nakamaji continued to show a live feed from the edge of Monster Island Woodland Preserve, where Nakamaji Corp. operatives were busy burning the forest to the ground. "This is a bold move," said a local parent. "I've often felt there was a war on our streets, and I'm glad someone choose our children over our trees. Burning of the forests will continue as long as the trees refuse to cooperate with authorities. Azz Eater will hopefully be out of the hospital and recovered enough to play in the next game. However, he is now addicted to morphine.
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