Related Stories

Friends and family had noticed Azz Eater had been acting strangely ever since the X-Ball game the previous week. Most wrote this off as guilt for majorly screwing over the Extreme Snowmen, but close friend and confidant, Coolboard Luke noticed something more.

"Well," said Coolboard Luke in a phone interview immediately following the incident, "He started acting really cold lately. And I mean really cold. Like, way below normal temperature. I had dealt with addiction before [Ed. note: Coolboard Luke was addicted to crank.], so I knew the telltale signs. So I searched through his stuff, and sure enough, there was a bottle of freon tucked away in the cookie jar."

Having caught Azz Eater's hands in the metaphorical cookie jar, as opposed to the physical cookie jar Luke stuck his hands into, an intervention was staged the following day, involving the members of Extreme Snowmen and the Associated Press. Aftre sitting down the drug addled Snowman, Azz Eater finally admitted he had been taking freon to make sure he didn't "melt, like in the last game."

His friends assured him it was just nerves, and Azz Eater pledged to go straight from then on. This moment of hope turned as sour as a green apple when he checked into the ritzy Nakamaji Gardens Hotel in central Monster Island with an unnamed lady friend to, "relax and unwind."

At approximately 11:03, neighbors reported a disturbance to the front desk, coming from Azz Eater's room. The police were called, and after banging down the door, Azz Eater was found covered in the wreckage of his room, guzzling freon from his lady friend, who was nothing more than a bundle of clothes wrapped around a giant flask.

He was promptly taken into custody, but was released this morning for an emergency interview with Bif Larkin. He has also been offered a recurring role on the hit tv show, "Monster Island Public." There is no word yet on whether he will take the role.