Bif: Hey, Sports Fans, Bif Larkin here with Gridiron, team captain for what is quite possibly the most popular team in X-Ball history, Monkeys Who Play Sports.

Gridiron: Thanks Bif. But I don't know if I'd say we're the most popular ever. We're just a simple group of monkeys who love what we do. Which is playing sports.

Bif: And people love you for it. Now why don't you tell me more about your longevity. You're now the single longest running team in X-Ball history. How'd this happen?

Gridiron: Well, as I said before, Bif, we're just a bunch of monkeys who play sports. We started out playing various sports, like most monkeys our age, but I felt like something was missing. I used to listen to X-Ball games on my old transistor radio, you know.

Bif: I used to do that too.

Gridiron: Good times, Bif, good times. I remember when I was about about ten, I heard the game where Old Silverback finally got to play.

Bif: That was a classic game.

Gridiron: Sure was, Bif. I thought why not X-Ball for me? Sure, monkeys play football or baseball all the time, so why not X-Ball? So I gathered the team together, and twenty years later, here we are.

Bif: Here we are, indeed. Any last words you might pass along to a youngster who's just starting to think about playing X-Ball?

Gridiron: Heart, Bif. You got to have heart.

Bif: And if I may say so, you monkeys truly are the heart of the game. Back to you, Tad.


Excerpted from "Bif Larkin: The X-Ball Interviews 2000"

08.30.01 - The X-Ball Finals are about to begin in the first week of September, and with them comes a sense of intense anticipation and intenser confusion.
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Gridiron, team captain for Monkeys Who Play Sports, presides over what is officially the longest continually playing team in X-Ball history. Despite having their X-Ball title wrested from them five seasons ago, Gridiron is sure they'll make a comeback this year. "We've been in training ever since last season's upset win by the Flowers, and that just won't happen again." Gridiron continued by saying that, "I think you're going to be seeing a new team of monkeys this year. Well, not literally. It'll be the same monkeys. Just better."

Hoops is the heart and soul of Monkeys Who Play Sports. He's spearheaded the largely unsuccesful "Less Violence in X-Ball" movement, and started a slightly more succesful chain of "X-Ball Kidz Kamps." Recently, his hip-hop album, "The Gospel According Ta Hoops: Vol. I, Tha Hoopsman Cometh," rocketed to #1 on the Billboard Hip-Hop Monkeys chart. It featured cameos by L'il Kim, Sisqo, Coolio, Busta Rhymes, Canibus, Puff Daddy, L'il Bow-Wow, Rah Digga, Ghostface Killah, Ol' Dirty Bastard (formerly Big Baby Jesus [formerly Ol' Dirty Bastard]), DMX, Amil, Um Jammer Lammy, Jay-Z, Eminem, Shyne, Black Rob, and almost no Hoops at all.

Links is a stickler for the rules, which fits in perfectly with an upstanding, distinguished team such as the Monkeys. Links is especially useful with his trademark backswing, which has often helped the Monkeys slam a goal from across the playing field. When not on the field, Links can often be seen hanging out with his manager, Miniature Ralph.

Puck, or "that Scottish Monkey" to his fans, has been playing Monkey sports for the last fourty-five years. As his name implies, he started as a hockey player for the Scottish National Ice Hockey Team, which never qualified for a championship. "People often say I look like a certain former James Bond," says Puck. "But they should know I get twice the ladies." Puck is very lonely, and a known liar.



Read Starr's Spotlight!
Starr is a recent recruit to the Monkeys Who Play Sports team, taken from the world of Hollywood stunt work. X-Ball's younger fans have been quite taken with the handsome monkey, describing him as, "The WB to Puck's CBS." His laid back attitude, and willingness to do "pretty much anything," proved to be a strong asset in last season's games, when he replaced the ailing Curls, the Curling Monkey and his Broom of Power.






Read stories about the Monkeys Who Play Sports: Monkeys Win Game #6, Monkeys go to Picture Show, Monkeys Win Game #5, Gridiron presents his thesis, Gridiron complains about his thesis, Monkeys Visit Massage Parlor, Hoops Kidz Kamps Open, Monkeys Not on Crack, Monkeys Remain Positive, Spotlight on Starr, Gridiron Visits NYC, Starr Gets Ripped Off, Hoops Hosts Fundraiser, Hoops' Album Fails