D.O.T.C.O.M.M. was born in New York City to first-generation German immigrants Emil and Leni Deckert in 1957. He was named D.O.T.C.O.M.M. after his grandfather, Dotcomm Steiger. A footnote in inventor history, Dotcomm Steiger was the creator of many items still in use today, including the toothbrush, the knife, and the concept of ennui.

D.O.T.C.O.M.M. shared his grandfather's drive as well as his name. As early as age 2, he was running his own business, a wholesale cookie distribution company, Cookie Buying Systems, Inc. At age 5, the company went public, quickly growing into a multi-national global communications giant, which specialized in business management consultancy and brand architecting. They provided infinitely scalable, tailor-made solutions for a rapidly evolving world until D.O.T.C.O.M.M. decided to cash in his chips and sell his stock before declaring the company both morally and financially bankrupt.

Retiring at age 10, D.O.T.C.O.M.M. appeared to have it all -- a summer house in the Hamptons, weekend residences in London, Boise, and Paris, and a fleet of cars that went really, really fast. But lounging poolside, being waited on hand and foot by a crack team of monkey butlers, didn't sit well with D.O.T.C.O.M.M., who felt himself growing fat and lazy after 30 years of retirement and luxury living. He craved the fast lane. Also gold-plated bathroom fixtures, but mostly the fast lane.

D.O.T.C.O.M.M. moved to Silicon Gulch on Monster Island, a hotbed of startups, technology firms, and foie gras. Having sold all his possessions and moved into a one-bedroom apartment in a trendy neighborhood, D.O.T.C.O.M.M. had tons of cash to throw around. He set up a venture capital firm called Snow Business and began accepting proposals. After throwing buckets of money at countless companies who spent it all on Aeron chairs and VitaminWater, D.O.T.C.O.M.M. was down to his last four billion dollars.

Depressed and nearly destitute, D.O.T.C.O.M.M. bet it all on a starry-eyed young company called PoodlePortal.com. A website for all things poodle, the site hit paydirt, attracting millions of poodlelovers everyday and driving tons of eyeballs to advertisers. A cash cow, D.O.T.C.O.M.M. made a mint, and could finally afford his dream -- a place on a major league X-Ball team. After forking over the three trillion dollars required, the Extreme Snowmen welcomed him as one of their very own. After three years on the team, Dottcomm has proven his mettle in such historic victories as the New Year's Gambit and the Wellington Maneuver.

Surely things are only looking up for D.O.T.C.O.M.M. -- PoodlePortal.com just merged with Africa to create the largest Corporate-Continent conglomerate in the world and Dotcomm is on the verge of launching his latest venture, Knitting.tv. Rich, athletic, and dazzlingly handsome, there is nothing that D.O.T.C.O.M.M. can't do. Yes, there's no end in sight for the "D.O.T.C.O.M.M. Revolution." D.O.T.C.O.M.M. will always come out on top.