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GAME 1 WINNERS: | 
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COMMENTARY BY... | 
| Bunny Pickin' Flowers Win Season OpenerUse Unique Mixture of Skill and Evil |
| GAME STATS |
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Games Played: 1 Flowers: 1 for 1 *Winners* Monkeys: 0 for 1 Eliminated 3rd Quarter Reptiles: 0 for 1 Eliminated 4th Quarter Snowmen: 0 for 1 Eliminated 1st Quarter Minor League: Eliminated 2nd Quarter Danger Zone Danger:  X-Ball Tonite Game MVP: Sandy  Percentage of Sentences Bif and Tad ended with the words "Bif" and "Tad:" 65.3% Number of Stadium Injuries: 23 Number of On-Field Injuries: 98
Bif: Well, that was a great game, wasn't it Tad? | Tad: I'll say. Bif: It certainly was a good, energetic way to start of the season, but I'd have to say the only real surprise was the Snowmen being knocked out virtually before the game had even started. Tad: That's true, Bif. Especially after they've been jabbering on for months about their intense training. Bif: I guess all the power bars in the world couldn't help them this time. By the way, folks, we'll be having an exclusive interview with Azz Eater tommorrow after the late show. Tad: What about that underground Sandy move, huh Bif? Bif: That was a new one on me, Bif. I know they're plants and all, but when Sandy popped out of the ground and grabbed Adrenaline's legs, I nearly jumped out of my seat. Tad: I did jump out of my seat, and I banged my knees on the table. Bif: That's great, Tad. Excerpted from Game Commentary broadcast by X-Ball Tonite March 4, 2001, all rights reserved.
03.04.01 - The Bunny Pickin' Flowers, X-Ball's Grand Champions for the past four years jumpstarted the season with a powerful win over the other three major league teams, as well as minor league team The Hemophiliacs.
| The game wasn't without its surprises, however, as the Extreme Snowmen were knocked out in the first quarter, when team goalie Azz Eater slipped in a puddle of his own melting snow. This let the Flowers' Lexie and Sandy score the first goal of the new season. Although sources in the Snowmen's camp claim sabotage, other sources claim that Azz Eater was overcome by nerves. A third group of sources has remained disturbingly quiet. The rest of the game happened without too many surprises. The Hemophiliacs, after managing to cower in a corner for the entire first quarter, were quickly disposed of when the Reptiles' Rage rolled the X-Ball right into their goal as they scattered like the pansies they are. Although the Monkeys were able to capture the X-Ball at the top of the third quarter, and avoid the carnivorous babies that were peppering the Danger Zone, they were stopped by a double team attack from Sandy and the Reptiles' Instinct, who used his patented earthquake slam to knock Gridiron, the Monkeys' goalie, off balance long enough to score a goal. At this time, the game was interrupted for the highly anticipated performance by a few local artists and Richard Marx. Unfortunately, Richard Marx was eaten at the last second, and unable to perform. Back in the fourth quarter, the Flowers' and Reptiles faced off, with the Reptiles initially grabbing the already mutated X-Ball. Pain and Adrenaline were able to subdue the X-Ball long enough to approach the Flowers' goal, but at the last moment, Sandy emerged from the ground, grabbing Adrenaline's feet. This threw Adrenaline off balance long enough for Amanda to grab the X-Ball and move it towards the Reptile's goal. With Amanda in control of the X-Ball, it was up to Vengeance at the goal. Vengeance, however, hadn't noticed that the carnivorous babies had escaped from the Danger Zone, and while he was being attacked, Amanda scored the final goal of the game. The Flowers, however, decided not to challenge the fully mutated X-Ball, which, if they had won, would have meant their declaration as winners of this season, and if they lost, their expulsion from the league. The next X-Ball game will be played in one month on April 1st. |